The beginning of the messy club

I guess you could say it’s a start of the messy Sunday club, but I feel that this place started a long while ago. 

This isn’t a place of messiness on a Sunday because I went out last night and was so shit faced that I’m struggling to function on a Sunday morning. Hell no, I am too frightened to ever entertain the thought of considering doing that. Frightened of enjoying some might think… figures.

I am a stressy gal. I honestly believe my brain genuinely thrives, loooves the chaos.

That’s why it’s the messy Sunday club. I quite honestly have a messy, delusional place of thinking. Particularly on a morning, you don't want breakfast with me, my poor husband... 

The last 2 Sundays I have woken up between 5-6am with these thoughts of:                                   

“social media is fuelling my already overthinking brain, maybe I need to write these things down” 

I stand by and will always stand by this, it's frying many of us... it's a fair thought. 

And to put things quite honestly 2025 has been an absolute stinker of a year, so a place to write rubbish and these thoughts probably isn't a bad place to look for.

Now, TikTok fuels my stress, but TikTok did tell me…

"2025 has been the year of the snake, did you not know?!" 

Good start TikTok, fuel the reasoning as to why this year has been quite honestly utter horse shit. 

But, wait!! Says TikTok… 

"Next year is the year of the fire horse..." All smug in face. 

It's got me. 

I'm stuck, they've lured me. 

"It's going to be your year next year, money, everything you want. Year of the fire horse."

Now, let me tell you about my shitter of a year. 

1. Walked into it with infertility, if you've been there, a horrendous journey, that I wish no one, but obviously someone has wished on me. Nobheads.

2. The place I worked was sold, totally the right thing, BUT it did mean it was time to move on from the dysfunctional community, that I loved.

3. Not just infertility, but unexplained. Frustrating. IVF. That's all they can do, devastating news. 

4. Hated my job, I work with family, and I'm at a stage where I'm feeling like if i can't prove myself as a mother, I need a really good job, to prove that I am doing something. And good jobs are difficult to find.

5. Then just last week I find out my child (she's a little jack russell) has a mass cell tumour on her leg. Devastated. Literally devastated. She's my baby

6. Money became a massive stress... but we're walking out of that now, which we're privileged to say, I know times are tough for many

So that sums it up. Hope of the year of the fire horse that is apparently to come. So fingers crossed for a better one, ey?

Now I'm not good at writing, and I'll be surprised if you learn anything from me, that's if anyone does actually stay to read, it's honest. 

I think that sometimes maybe that's enough.